Wednesday, July 26, 2006

excess of baggage..

I am not talking about luggage, but referring to personal emotional baggage that people carry around. I was just thinking a few days back about relations and friends and all things attached with them, so this idea came to my mind.

What is friendship? Hmm! Well asking such a question after 22 years of being with friends is indeed silly. But really what is it. I used to position Friendship above all the relations defined by our society. Thats the reason why I treat even my relatives as friends. For e.g. My sister and my parents are very good friends of mine. We all know that friendship doesnt have boundaries of age, gender etc so we can very well generalize all relation in terms of friendship.

Taking my life 5 years back when I had joined IIIT. I (like all of us) made lots of new friends (yeah same month, july 2001) with very varied backgrounds. All of them were from different parts of country. Completing the graduation took 4 years so we needed friends away from home to share our feelings with and have fun with. We used to have fights and we used to make up after few days laughing over it and getting rid of any grudges.

When we were in institute we had only a fixed number of people around us, and all those were divided into groups. So any particular group was tightly coupled and having 2 people in one group not talking to each other was not very much possible. Even if those 2 didnt feel uncomfortable, others would, and so the group will force them to talk and make up. I still remember lots of incidents like that. But life is different now.

We are not as close now as we were then. Yes! we are still good friends, we still share everything, we still trust each other and can count on them but there is a difference. Now we go to office, go to parties, meet new interesting people and make new friends every now and then. As the number of people we know (read new friends) increase , the time we spend with any of them decreases. Now we dont roam around , chat as much in fixed groups as we did in our college (graduation). I dont remember when was the last time when 4-5 of us had a big long discussion about anything over a coffee or in someone's room . Now we just chat when we go out for a movie, shopping etc. And we dont discuss anything other than just the things at hand like what movie to go, what to buy.

So to sum things up I would say that the spark in our friendship has gone away. I am probably wrong but thats what I feel as of now. I was always trying to shrug that feeling off but now I cant do it any more.

But isnt that better. If I am not able to stay with an old friend because of some ego clashes or small fights, I have so many other people to spend time with and be friends with. So am I wrong if I just leave that friend and continue with new ones? We already dont have enough time in today's world for lots of things, so is it worth to keep clinging to relations that do not work ? Probably thats the reason why there are so many break-ups, divorces all around because people just want to spend the time they find for themselves enjoying rather than making up the broken relations.

I was having a discussion about this issue with a close friend and I was telling him that its better nowadays to roam around with any body , chat with anyone who is around you rather than always calling your old pals who would be mostly busy. Also we wont have to waste time over trivial issues from past. Even our atmostphere supports this behaviour. We keep changing companies, places etc, so staying with those few old friends forever is not possible. So we should get used to finding new people and live in the moment.

Basically, we should not keep a lot of personal baggage...Find new people make new friends and part ways happily with those you can not stay any longer with :) Afterall we came to the universe alone and have to leave alone too..

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I too think the same thing abt frnds... whr will i be and my frenz will be after these 2 yrs(doing my 3rd yr)....and the point is clear..many of them will part frm each other...new frenz... new ppl...life getting busier.. no time for frenz... thts very much true...but we cant do anything.... except... try to be in touch with all those OLD frnz as much as possible...
but u hv to accept the fact tht THIS IS LIFE is all about... meeting few ppl... staying wid them.... parting!! so.. just live the life as it comes... hmm... a long...indeed a very long post dude.

Anonymous said...

you bts...
let me not believe that you have writtne it after we went to that stupid movie together... on Tuesday.

btw how about a movie tomorrow ?

Sreejith said...

Very valid point made chandu :) emotional baggage is to be discarded but we need to carry some luggage or else we would be travelling naked... emotionally that is :D

sandeep said...

@sreejith: Very true! thats why we should keep with us what is necessary and required. And leave all that which hinders our movement (emotionally that is :D)

Vardhman said...

Totally agree with your points. Having studied in so many different schools and stayed with so many friends, I kinda realized that Friends do not stay forever and you have to keep moving on.

Anonymous said...

chasa sathiyata ja raha hai.. how do you manage to think so much on such points[:p]

Anonymous said...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Rajkumar said...

lolz ...

sandeep said...

@anonymous1: hmm...it just comes to mind and keeps thinking going..

@anonmous2: hurrrrrrrrrr

@rajkumar: roflz...

Rakesh said...

very thoughtful post ...

sandeep said...

@rakesh: Thanks dude!